Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. – Thomas Jefferson
2003
Johnny Depp has been on top of the world since 2003. He was obviously an extremely successful actor before then but in 2003 Depp introduced the world to Captain Jack Sparrow and his popularity soared.
Not only did he have a massive hit with Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, he was also voted People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. A great entertainer with the good looks to go along with it.
I bring this up only because people say I kinda look like Johnny Depp. And since 2003, they have let me know about it.
Awkward
From 2003 to 2007, I was in the best shape of my adult life. When you couple that with Depp’s popularity and my similar looks, it’s understandable that people started to notice.
I am not going to complain about looking like Depp. It has been a wild ride and I am sure it has been a lot more fun than being compared to someone like Ed Asner (Elf was also released in 2003). Even though it has been fun, it hasn’t been without some awkward moments.
- Home Depot
- While buying plumbing fixtures with my father, a man taps me on the shoulder and as I turn around says, “Oh, I thought you were Johnny Depp.” (I’m sure he shops at Kansas City area Home Depot’s all the time.) He asked me to pose for a picture with him to show his girlfriend, and my dad snapped the shot.
- Kid’s Teachers
- Following a sporting event with my grade school kids, I overheard one of my kid’s teachers saying to my wife, “Your husband looks like Johnny Depp. Aren’t you a lucky one.”
- Co-workers
- It seemed as though my name was officially changed to “Kyle – The Guy who looks like Johnny Depp.”
- DIA
- The creepiest one of them all. I was walking toward the bathrooms at Denver International Airport and had a strange feeling that someone was following me. As I was relieving myself, a guy walks up to the neighboring urinal, stares me in the face and says, “Shit, I thought you were Johnny Depp.” Then he turned around and left. What would he have done if it was Depp?
Again, I am not complaining. Even these weird moments were fun, but things like this would happen all the time. It is impossible to count how many times I have heard the question, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Johnny Depp?” I eventually started saying things like:
- I get that all the time.
- I’ll take that as a compliment!
- No, he looks like me.
- Who’s Johnny Depp?
As the years went on, and the numbers on my scale went up, the comments and interruptions became less frequent, but they didn’t go away completely.
Fat Johnny Depp
It started with a close friend and continued on with my co-workers. It was obvious that I was gaining weight and I wasn’t shy about talking about how I was getting “FAT.” So, the comment was made, “I guess we should start calling you Fat Johnny Depp.” I thought it was hilarious. I took it in stride and thought, “It’s still better than being compared with Ed Asner.”
The funny thing was, the label followed me.
The Best Insult Ever
In late 2016, when I was in the worst shape of my life, my travels had taken me to Minneapolis, Minnesota. As I was boarding a plane to head back home to Kansas City, I noticed a woman in front of me doing a double take while looking back at me. She eventually turned around and said what so many other had said, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Johnny Depp?” Before I could answer she continued, “I mean a healthy Johnny Depp.”
I know she was trying to be kind, but the word ‘health’ hit harder than the word ‘fat’ ever did.
I actually ended up sitting next to this woman during the flight and we had a great discussion. We talked about family, careers, and travel. I even told her the entire Johnny Depp history.
After the plane landed and we parted ways, I couldn’t stop thinking about that word ‘healthy’. That experience and that word were the triggers that started me down the path to discover the Recipe for Weight Loss Success. That is why I consider this the best insult ever.
And now that I have the Recipe, I can’t wait for someone to look at me and say, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like a thin, fit, and healthy Ed Asner?”
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-Nomo