How I Lost 306 Pounds

When a person who is overweight goes on a diet without altering their self-image… any weight loss will be temporary. – Bob Proctor

 

This is not a Success Story – Yet.

January 1, 2000

The scale had been in the bathroom for a long time. I had used it off and on, but when I stepped on it on y2k day, I was shocked at what I saw: 210!

I had never weighed that much in my life.

That number started a weight obsession that I have been fighting for 17 years. I guess you could say this was my personal y2k bug.

At that time, all those years ago, I thought and felt that I was fit. I was a high school teacher and coach. I was exercising regularly. Working out with the students multiple times each week. I could do things that I had never been able to do in my entire life. Things in the weight room, things with my fitness and flexibility. I thought everything was fine.

The number 210 was not normal. It surprised me, and, in that instant, I vowed to do something about it.

However, my reaction to that number has resulted in a 17 year journey of confusion and frustration.

The Past 17 Years

I originally just wanted to lose 20-25 pounds. But that original desire turned into a 17 year journey that I often refer to as my roller coaster ride.

Go look at My Roller Coaster. I have been tracking my weight all these years. (Yes, I am weird like that.) The link takes you to a trend chart (be patient, it takes a while to load) that show the ups and downs that I have experienced. The raw data is also there if you want to take a look.

If you look at the data or graph closely, you should discover that I have had swings in my weight, both gains and losses, of 15+ pounds 26 times over this time period. That is how I have lost over 300 pounds. This is why this isn’t a success story.

How I Lost 306 Pounds

It was easy for me to lose the weight. It has always been easy from me to lose weight. The problem is that I could never keep it off.

I thought I was doing everything right, but the graph doesn’t lie.

Looking back, I have realized that I was obsessed with my weight, but not my weight. I was obsessed with that number, but not that number. I was confused. I was confused for 17 years.

My weight and that number affected everything.

I remember one day completing a great work out. I had been eating right and feeling fine. Then I jumped on the scale and I yell, “Holy shit! How did I gain 4 pounds?” It drove me crazy. It was all about the number.

It had nothing to do with me. It had nothing to do with who I was, it had nothing to do with what I was feeling at the time.

I remember another time, when I was at my fittest. My number was low, and I had just gotten out of the shower. I sat on my bed, looked down toward my stomach, and noticed having a six pack. You would think that this would be a good thing, but I experienced a strange feeling at the time. It felt like what I was seeing wasn’t me.

I didn’t know what I wanted. Even when I occasionally thought that I did, I didn’t know why.

Confusion reigned, and it reigned for 17 years.

It Starts with a Thought

The quote at the top of this article beautifully explains my roller coaster ride. My self-image didn’t change, therefore any change that took place was temporary.

My weight, my level of fitness, my health all changed dramatically over the last 17 years, but my self-image didn’t.

What I would say about my self is ultimately what I became…

• “Damn, I’m fat.”
• “But I love tacos.”
• “Losing weight is hard.”
• “I’m a burger and fries, steak and potatoes kind of guy.”
• “I look like a beached whale.”
• “I can’t do it.”
• “I’m too out of shape.”
• “I’m done.”
• “I Quit!”

These are the mistakes I have made, over and over and over and over.

This Time is Different

The roller coaster ride is over!

I have finally realized that my self-image must change, and the mistakes of my past have given me the key to my success. I must change my thoughts.

I have changed my thoughts.

I know that if I were to jump on a scale right now, it would not register my ideal weight. I also know that no matter what the scale says, I will reach my ideal weight. It is happening.

Not only is it happening, but this time the change is going to be permanent. I have realized that my self-image has been the problem.

More importantly, I now know HOW to change my self-image.

Most important of all, I have changed my self-image.

No matter where I am on my journey, I will never obsess about my weight or that number again, and I will achieve my ideal weight.

I will live the life I want to live.

 

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-Nomo